Thursday, August 7, 2008

The State of Things

Life has been out of control crazy since mid-June and there is no sign of it letting up. In fact I know that I won't have a real, take a breath now, break until mid-October.

For the past two weeks I have been struggling with some anxiety and haven't been doing as well as I would like. I like to pretend that I handle stress well but I haven't been doing a good job.

I realized that there are some real outward signs that represent how I've been feeling on the inside and I thought that I would share them with you. Judge me if you must.

1) My planters are dead. While this isn't a real picture of my planter, it isn't far off. I haven't been a good waterer. It is low on my list of things to do but sad to look out at something dead.

2) My laundry pile has been out of control enormous. It is better today but now I have an out of control folded (yes, at least did that) clothes pile.

3) This is my favorite one... I noticed something really weird two days ago. The bottom of my forearm had been colored all over by a blue ball point pen. It looked fresh. Finn had been playing with a blue pen (great mothering, I know) but I can't for the life of me remember when he had actually colored on me. At first I thought that maybe I put my arm on something that had been scribbled on and it transferred - nope. I can't find anything like that. I am apparently so out of it that my son could come up and cover- I really mean cover - my right forearm with scribbles and I didn't feel it and I CAN'T REMEMBER!

Mmm... not good signs, are they? I decided to get out of the house this evening and I am going on a walk with my new mentor (yes, I now have a mentor) in the morning. I have been convinced that I am not doing as well as I pretend to be!!


Jesse Butterworth said...

Alright, I admit it. It was me.
I put something in your tea to knock you out and then I tried to give you a fake tattoo of your hero, Clay Aiken, as an early birthday present, but it looked so stupid that I ended up scribbling it out.
By the time you came to, I didn't have the heart to tell you what had happened, so I just took the boys out for ice cream and let you think that you're losing your mind.
But that's still no excuse for the dead plants! HA!

Sarah Hager said...

Hang in there, Marissa. :)

Carlee Avery said...

I hate this season - you feel like your in a fog. You WILL come out of it, dont know when - but you will. :) Hang in there friend!